i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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