Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
