I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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