There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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