apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
