we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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