The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
