That's intense
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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