he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
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i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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