do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
