Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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