I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
