Rock
Scissors
Fuck
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
