Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren