I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
