I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
