No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
