people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
