i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
