The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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