i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
