Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
