can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
