Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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