It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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