I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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