I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
