I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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