Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
