bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
