It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
