It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body