I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa