Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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  (212): that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment http://tfl.nu/63lr
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.

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  (815): My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY. http://tfl.nu/imc8
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now

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  (985): for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now http://tfl.nu/fzln
  Replies (59) Good night (756) Bad night (4558)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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  (973): I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes http://tfl.nu/9abn
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today

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  (770): I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today http://tfl.nu/te6h
  Replies (41) Good night (5375) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"

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  (573): I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!" http://tfl.nu/oyys
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.

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  (703): i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me. http://tfl.nu/nrib
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  (347): View more from New York

  You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?

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  (347): You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid? http://tfl.nu/2je7
  Replies (34) Good night (735) Bad night (5610) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.

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  (908): ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library. http://tfl.nu/ghke
  Replies (34) Good night (6767) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

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  (309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence

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  (516): So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence http://tfl.nu/140k
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  (209): View more from California

  High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.

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  (209): High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch. http://tfl.nu/isdv
  Replies (4) Good night (3202) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option

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  (734): There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option http://tfl.nu/svkl
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You are my mentor.

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.

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  (865): You are my mentor. (276): I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement. http://tfl.nu/qxu9
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (215)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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  (405): Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man. http://tfl.nu/rjwi
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt

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