Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
