Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
is it fun? or sober?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
