Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
