Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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