A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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