Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
