Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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