My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
