Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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