On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
