Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
