u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
