If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
