my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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