nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize