He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
