U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
