Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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