6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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