I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
