Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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