i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
