Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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