I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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