Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
