also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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