Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
