hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
