i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
