ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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