Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
