I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
