What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
