Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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