My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
