Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
