he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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